Down the rabbit hole of Canine Couture...

Today I spent over £100 on pet food. Just food and dental treats for the dogs. And tomorrow I have another bag of feed to buy as well as the lead I had reserved at one of my favourite shops, Canine Couture. It's marked up at £18 but I actually spend so much money there that I get discount so i'm hoping it'll be cheaper.

The funny thing is, I don't actually own a lap dog, or handbag dog or whatever it's called. My 'It Dog' is a labrador. Seriously, Alfie has tons of collars and leads (sets of course) but he also has clothes and not just coats. I've bought him hoodies, t-shirts, vest type things, and the aforementioned coats. I think the last count for coats was 5 and a pack-a-mac! Which i know is unbelievable 90s.

And luggage. Yes my dogs have luggage. They're actually those extra large handbag things that people carry pugs and chihuahuas in. At the minute the girls have a nice white patent thing and Alfie still has the camo print one that I bought him during my recent 'he looks so cute in camo!' phase. Needless to say that now i am past that phase he needs an entire new wardrobe- without camo print.


And speaking of wardrobes, in the literal sense they are indeed getting an entire new wardrobe, as am I. Because i'm converting the spare room into a closet/office and there will be storage provision for the dogs clothes.

But looking at the enormous range of ridiculous clothes out there I remain confident of the fact that I am not the saddest person with a dog out there. I have, after all, never put Alfie in a dress.

Please sir can I have some more?

OMG I appreciate that this is kinda strange but i just have to exhort the virtues of Stroganoff! Well the ready meal version from tesco anyway. It is officially my new favourite meal. I have to try other versions. Yes i'm sad.

But at least I eat! I am in fact a total pig. I love food. Is that bad? I'm pretty sure that it's definately not 'fashionable'. Ok maybe I shouldn't eat quite as much chocolate as I do, or the flapjack that our lovely school dinner ladies cook. Especially considering i'm diabetic. But that is a discussion for me, my nurse and my quite possibly appalled dietition.

Plus, I work it off! I'm still a size 12/14 for god's sake. (english sizes obviously, I love the fact that in America i'm like an 8/10!)

I don't get why so many girls my age don't eat. Where's the pleasure in life?! Enjoy the huge range of flavours and the wonderful feeling of a full stomach!

And if you're worried about a smooth silluette in that pretty dress- wear some stomach-holding-in-knickers. Which is exactly what I intend to do the next time I go out.

So keep the Stroganoff coming!

Where for art thou kennels?

It is apparently nigh on impossible to get hold of a boarding kennels.

I need to book the two girls into kennels for when I go on holiday. Alfie's coming with me which I know must seem mean on the girls but they're both terrified of crowds. In fact, the Honey Monster ( my northern inuit) is scared of people in general! Which is a bit daft considering that she can floor someone with a single push n has jaws like a wolf, but there you go.

Anyway, back to the kennels. I have been calling them in my lunch breaks for about 3 weeks and left several rambling voicemail messages. And still haven't managed to get them booked in. I think it's just sods law really. I either get voicemail or the engaged tone and when I call back I get the other. They did call me back one time but it was period 5 and I had a class so obviously couldn't pick up. See? Sod's law. Bloody sod.

I'm seriously running out of time. I need them booked for the 6th August! I just hope that they still have space when I finally do get them booked in because if not- i'm screwed...

Was that summer?

England has quite possibly just had summer. For 3 days.

Yep, the sun came out, the clouds went away and the temperatures reached 20 degrees C. The country was taken over by short denim shorts n bikinis. In the absence of a pair of short denim shorts I proceeded to make a pair. It took a pair of jeans that the dogs had chewed, a large pair of scissors and the space of 10 minutes before I had to be at my sister's BBQ. And nobody noticed they weren't bought that way! Pure genius, even if I say so myself.

We also had a mini rebellion at work on friday when we were told that we can't let kids out of class to get a drink of water. I'm still not totally sure why but possibly to prevent that well known childhood affliction of 'spontaneous cover your friends in water syndrome'.

Oh to be young again... hang on i'm only 20! Ok I feel old now.

The forecast says that instead of this lovely sunshine actually lasting a respectable amount of time, it'll be cool again by wednesday. Dammit.

I think I can safely say that i'm still going to take jumpers when I go camping in August. Whitby may be my favourite place in the world right now but it's bloody freezing when it wants to be.

On that note i'm actually going to go do some work now. Seeing as i'm hiding in my prep room pretending. But I didn't say that. Beacuse naturally I would never do such a terrible thing! (sheepish face :S)

Technician fashion (or lack of)

Why didn't I get a nice office job? You know, one where I could wear nice, smart clothes and, most importantly, HEELS?

The receptionists at work always look good, trust me. I'm talking suits, jewellery and the aforementioned heels. The teachers dress similarly too. The women anyway.

And then there's me.

I'm a technician. I'm running between 2 different departments all day which are, of course, at opposite ends of the school. And when i'm there sitting down is not part of my job description. So no heels for me. I have boots. Boring, flat boots. And cheap.

Which brings me to the next problem. On a daily basis I work with wood (dusty), metal (greasy) and chemicals (everything!). I already have lovely orange blobs from god only knows what chemical on a nice black top. Only cheap clothes possible then.

And jewellery? Not a chance. machines? chemicals? Bunsen burners? yeah. No jewellery. Which is a bugger cos that's pretty much how I do anything with any outfit. Keep it simple, work the statement necklace, sorted. Damn.

So yeah. should've got an office job. Or even better, work from home then I can stay in my scruffy jeans and baggy tshirt.

Because even style has limits.

Happiness by Gucci

Ok so we're about halfway through the month and I have absolutely no money left.

I didn't even buy anything ridiculously expensive this month!

O wait I forgot about my dad's new coat. In my defense it was a fantastic bargain- i got a cashmere blend overcoat worth £200 for 50 quid. How good is that?! I love change of season sales!

It was a great month for bargains.

I went shopping with my mum like I do every month and in a lowly little charity shop on scunthorpe high street we found a Gucci handbag. Well i think its genuine. If not it's a really good copy. And it cost me, wait for it... a tenner. Yup 10 tiny pounds.

It may be god knows how many seasons out of date, it may be battered, it may have a slightly worrying stain on the lining, but she loves it and that my friends is worth the damn thing's weight in gold.