Romance blues

Is being cancelled on the same as being stood up? If it is, I have been.

I honestly don't think I've ever been stood up before though that could be because I don't really date much, contrary to what this blog implies. But tonight I was and the culprit is...The Flirt. Big surprise-not.

I actually thought we'd finally go on a proper date. The plan was for him to pick me up after I finished at open evening at work tonight and go for a drink but I got a text at quarter past 8 saying he couldn't make it. We were supposed to be meeting at 9. It's a bloody good job someone from work could give me a lift home.

If you hadn't noticed I'm a tad annoyed so this is a very short, very angry blog and I'm now going to have a cup of tea n a chocolate eclair to cheer me up.

Anyone for a chat?

Sooo I applied to an online freelance journalism site thing today in the hope of actually starting a career in journalism. And some money more money would be nice too. Fingers crossed I'll actually get on :s

Once again I must apologise for not writing for a while but I've been busy and to be honest- I haven't know what to write about. Mind you all I seem to be writing about lately is my love life! Speaking of which I may as well provide an update;

The Date asked me to go camping with him and some of his mates. I refused because basically it was a booty call- uhhuh NO!

Cookie/mistaken identity guy once again asked me over to his for, I quote- a DVD and sex. I didn't even bother replying. I mean please, just please!

The Flirt is still happily texting every day and I live in hope that this week we may actually have a date.

So that's it for the love life. I am apparently a magnet for unwanted booty calls yet can't secure a date with the one guy I actually really like. Life sucks.

On a rather sad note my friends are leaving me again 'sob'. OK so only some of them and they're only going back to uni but that's not the point. I will once more have no social life. I love it when they're back 'cos we do the whole catch up thing which means we get rather drunk and chat for hours on end. That is possibly the definition of a good time.

I will eventually write about the trip to Paris. In fact I may give a step by step account of the trip to Paris. It depends how bored I am and how mean I feel. I really shouldn't put people through the stereotypical holiday story. But, seriously, I need to go back. Even if it's just to chill and write. Though I think the plan is to go to Venice next which would be fantastic. I admit to having had a mild obsession with the floating city for a few years now. I want to see Piazza San Marco!

I really should learn some Italian...

Update

I've had requests for an update to the dating situation so here goes;

The Date has disappeared. I'm not exactly sure where, why or, lets face it, when. I vaguely recall some drunken, suggestive texts but since I received them at some point between going to bed and getting up I think I can be forgiven for not remembering the details. Or even my replies. I'm pretty sure they were at least scathing and probably very annoyed but come on! I was trying to sleep! Anyway he's promptly disappeared into the wide blue yonder. Or possibly the blue lagoon.

Cookie/Mistaken Identity Guy was a part of my life for a grand total of 1 date n 3 weeks. for 2 weeks of which I was on holiday and therefore didn't text him. I had issues with his bossiness and attempts at superiority. I say attempts because they failed. Apparently age does not bring forth wisdom. So he's gone. Though I must say it was a very polite break up. He said if I ever wanted to go to the cinema or something we could, no strings attached. I'm thinking not. Especially as I saw him in the pizza place while I was out with 2 of my old schoolmates on Saturday night. He proceeded to mostly ignore me, flirt with my mate and then send me a text after he left telling me to go stay at his. The answer was a resounding NO.

Speaking of the pizza place i must confess to a major crush on a guy who's come to be known to all my friends as Pizza Guy. But seeing as he's only ever seen me very drunk and slightly disorderly every few weeks after a night on the town I don't foresee much happening in that department.

The Flirt however is most definitely still around and became positively romantic whilst I was texting him from Paris (more info on Paris coming soon :D) I'm talking about him randomly saying he loved me! Though I'm taking that with a pinch of salt because he changes his mind more than a woman trying to decide what to wear.
My skepticism is perhaps well earned because since meeting him and going for a drive one night last week (minus parking thank you very much) his attention has once again waned. I'm beginning to suspect a condition like lycanthropy but instead of turning into a wolf once a month he turns into a romantic. I think I need help. Should I put up with this guy or get over it?

Unfortunately matters of the heart are not helped by the questions of the head.

On a lighter note I've possibly been rather too flirty on Saturday night with another older guy. RAF Guy is nice but I think that my habit of dancing outrageously and flirtily due to my adoration of dancing and having a good time along with the consumption of copious amounts of straight vodka (I swear I should be Russian) has given him the wrong idea. Very little ever happens with guys I dance with.

I am not a slapper honest :(

Dating

So I know this wasn't supposed to be a dating blog but I have to talk about this- I'm suddenly popular with men!

My relationship history before a few weeks ago was tragic. I'd had boyfriends in school and the occasional drunken snog since but that's been pretty much it, apart from a long-term flirtation with a guy I've known since we were kids that's just going nowhere.

But now I actually have choices.

Remember The Date? Well he's one of the choices. We've actually been on another date since then. It started out as a coffee but we ended up at the cinema again. I think he just really wanted to see Twilight Saga: Eclipse to be honest but so did I so it worked out well. plus he paid. Anyway he now wants me to stay over at his but "nothing has to happen". Hmmm... the problem is The Flirt knows him and he's told me some kinda bad stuff about. I don't know whether he's telling the truth or if he's just jealous.

The other choice is a guy I met on Saturday when i was out round town for my sister-in-law's 21st. He asked for my number when I was buying a pizza whilst trashed. He texted me the very next day and we've been talking ever since. He seems kinda nice and he's invited me out for a meal on Thursday night. We've actually talked about quite a lot, not just randomly chatted. We've discussed jobs, pets, coffee shops, cookies... lol. We agreed that Millies Cookies are delicious. So yeah we seem to have stuff in common and we have a laugh.

There's just 2 flies in the ointment
1. He's 29 and I'm 20 (minor difference I know but it still feels weird)
and 2. He said I looked really sexy on Saturday night. In my white dress.

I was wearing a black top and a pale pink skirt with black cats on on Saturday.

Yeah, I'm a little worried now. But I guess I'll just have to see what happens on Thursday. Assuming he still wants to meet up.

I'm back!

I know I kind of disappeared for a while but I've been kind of busy and I'm back now :)

OK, so, news. Today I got another tattoo. This one's on the back of my neck and it's a sun and moon mixed thing that the guy at the tattoo parlour designed especially for me from my basic idea. I feel so privileged! It's more symbolic than an actual picture, a point emphasised by my brother when he reacted by saying, "what is it?". The idea is that it symbolises my paganism i.e. the fact that my goddess and god are represented by the sun and moon.

Yes, I'm strange. No, I don't care.

I go on holiday next weekend. To my favourite place ever- Whitby. I seriously can't wait! I thoroughly intend to just relax for a week. I'm gonna go for a ride (hopefully on the beach), spend time with my adorable nieces and walk 2 miles a night into the bay and back with the dog. I did that the last time I went and lost nearly 2 dress sizes! I'm gonna practice photography and writing too. But I'm not taking my laptop. I fancy some solitude.

And then after Whitby I go to Paris, Monday 'til Friday. I'm looking forward to it but kind of nervous. I don't go abroad. But I'm sure it'll be fine and I'll have a really good time. I hope.

Well I've bought some new music for my Ipod so I just have to buy some new books. I'm thinking The lord of the rings...

Money- what's it good for?

Why is money so important?

I mean seriously- our lives revolve around it. We study and train and take exams so that we can earn lots of the stuff, then we get a job which for the vast majority of people is NOT what they dreamed of doing as a kid, then we work our butts off to keep earning the stuff while also planning ways of how to make more. Then we spend it and begin the cycle of earning and spending all over again.

Does this make sense? 'Cos it doesn't to me!

Ok so money means we can survive. How did that happen? It makes life more enjoyable, yes, but we're totally and utterly dependant on it. We need it to buy food, heat and water, the basic necessities of life.

Now, I love shopping. We know this. And as much as i'm all for environmental protection and nature and everything i honestly can't imagine living without money. And i'm not rich. I don't own designer clothes and a huge house. Hell I don't even have my own house! I live with my father. Because among other reasons, it just costs so much money.

Whereas living here I don't pay the bills, the council tax or the mortgage. Yes, i'm spoiled. But I do do the chores and stuff. And I pay for everything for my pets (an average bill running to £100 a month).

But again it's all dependent on money.

And money cannot make us happy.

I have a job that, lets face it, i'm beginning to really dislike. It's nothing to do with what I trained for/ still training for, the students are mostly vile to me and i'm much more suited to receiving education than providing it. I want to study. I want to write. But I daren't sacrifice the regular wage packet for the uncertainty of freelance journalist work or possible bar work while I study.

So I have the money to spend, mostly on whatever I want, but i'm not doing what I want and what i've spent 4 years training for so far.

And, basically, i'm not really happy.

Duh...!

I can safely say that it is true that women are great at multitasking. As I type i'm cooking salmon and fresh veg. I am a domestic goddess! not.

Speaking of food....

When I left work earlier I went shopping for a nice, sophisticated, short black dress. The search for said dress left me feeling short, fat and seriously unsexy.

So what did I do? Accept the fact that I am short and dumpy and buy myself something pretty and comfy? Decide once and for all that I was going to join the gym and lose weight?

no.

I bought myself a Mcdonalds to cheer me up.

Yes I bought an example of the epitome of unhealthy food. But at least it tasted nice.

I think I missed the main point of WHY I was fed up. Or maybe I was just conveniently forgetting it.

Whatever the reason I now feel even fatter and more unsexy than ever and I don't even have a dress.

If I don't find one soon i'm going to have to wear a black bin bag with those stilettos.