Duh...!

I can safely say that it is true that women are great at multitasking. As I type i'm cooking salmon and fresh veg. I am a domestic goddess! not.

Speaking of food....

When I left work earlier I went shopping for a nice, sophisticated, short black dress. The search for said dress left me feeling short, fat and seriously unsexy.

So what did I do? Accept the fact that I am short and dumpy and buy myself something pretty and comfy? Decide once and for all that I was going to join the gym and lose weight?

no.

I bought myself a Mcdonalds to cheer me up.

Yes I bought an example of the epitome of unhealthy food. But at least it tasted nice.

I think I missed the main point of WHY I was fed up. Or maybe I was just conveniently forgetting it.

Whatever the reason I now feel even fatter and more unsexy than ever and I don't even have a dress.

If I don't find one soon i'm going to have to wear a black bin bag with those stilettos.

Guilt at Lipsy and other buys.

Why did I decide to take mum to Meadowhall? I spent over £100 in one day which is kind of bad for me, but at least I managed to carry on my trend of getting bargains. I even got one of the things I actually went for!

Yes, I bought a new pair of black stilettos.

I wanted a pair that would go with everything- my suits, my dresses (especially this summer's bargain floral print I got from Tesco) and even a pair of black jeans which is probably my favourite outfit right now. And I appear to have found a pair. Black patent stiletto court shoes from Barrats, fitted with help from the two lovely ladies who were helping me. Between them, me and mum we decided to get the larger size but fit them with insoles and heel grips rather then force them into the smaller ones. Hopefully the insole will help to avoid the feeling that the balls of my feet have been run up and down a cheesegrater then dipped in turpentine which is the unfortunate side effect of wearing high heels for any length of time.

And they only cost £30!

I must confess to my guilty secret. I bought a lipsy necklace basically because I wanted something from there. Plus I really liked the bags. Seriously, I bought a £12 necklace and received it wrapped in tissue paper and placed in a shiny cardboard bag that was tied with a lipsy ribbon. Yes I made sure it was easily visible for the rest of the day and yes, I am sad.

Other than that I got a pretty cute leatherette sleeveless biker jacket for £13 from Primark which is enough of a bargain to negate the guilt of lipsy, along with several tank tops for the grand total of £1.50 each! Well they're the major bargains but, naturally there were others.

Oh I also upheld my status of environmentally conscious scientist person by getting one of those 100% cotton bags from primark and also going on the train rather than taking a car.

So that was my trip to Meadowhall with mum, who says she really enjoyed it and i'm not too terrible to shop with although she's not going in a shoe shop with me ever agin because I take too long to decide.

(In other news I actually have a proper date this saturday night. Oh god i've never dated! what the hell do I wear...?!)

Down the rabbit hole of Canine Couture...

Today I spent over £100 on pet food. Just food and dental treats for the dogs. And tomorrow I have another bag of feed to buy as well as the lead I had reserved at one of my favourite shops, Canine Couture. It's marked up at £18 but I actually spend so much money there that I get discount so i'm hoping it'll be cheaper.

The funny thing is, I don't actually own a lap dog, or handbag dog or whatever it's called. My 'It Dog' is a labrador. Seriously, Alfie has tons of collars and leads (sets of course) but he also has clothes and not just coats. I've bought him hoodies, t-shirts, vest type things, and the aforementioned coats. I think the last count for coats was 5 and a pack-a-mac! Which i know is unbelievable 90s.

And luggage. Yes my dogs have luggage. They're actually those extra large handbag things that people carry pugs and chihuahuas in. At the minute the girls have a nice white patent thing and Alfie still has the camo print one that I bought him during my recent 'he looks so cute in camo!' phase. Needless to say that now i am past that phase he needs an entire new wardrobe- without camo print.


And speaking of wardrobes, in the literal sense they are indeed getting an entire new wardrobe, as am I. Because i'm converting the spare room into a closet/office and there will be storage provision for the dogs clothes.

But looking at the enormous range of ridiculous clothes out there I remain confident of the fact that I am not the saddest person with a dog out there. I have, after all, never put Alfie in a dress.

Happiness by Gucci

Ok so we're about halfway through the month and I have absolutely no money left.

I didn't even buy anything ridiculously expensive this month!

O wait I forgot about my dad's new coat. In my defense it was a fantastic bargain- i got a cashmere blend overcoat worth £200 for 50 quid. How good is that?! I love change of season sales!

It was a great month for bargains.

I went shopping with my mum like I do every month and in a lowly little charity shop on scunthorpe high street we found a Gucci handbag. Well i think its genuine. If not it's a really good copy. And it cost me, wait for it... a tenner. Yup 10 tiny pounds.

It may be god knows how many seasons out of date, it may be battered, it may have a slightly worrying stain on the lining, but she loves it and that my friends is worth the damn thing's weight in gold.